The Family
REARING CHILDREN IN PERVERSE TIMES
Your children are precious to you. The Scripture calls them a heritage and a reward. You love them so much that you want them to grow and mature into happy, healthy, successful adults. But do you love them enough to train them the way God says in His Word, to be an example to them, and even to correct them?
If you are a parent, God has commanded you to teach and train your children in His Word and His ways so that they can live a victorious life. It’s not an option. It’s a responsibility for which each parent will have to answer.
Genesis 18:19 indicates that God chose Abraham because He knew Abraham would teach his children to keep the ways of the Lord. It’s evident this is very important to God.
We live in a time when the world is getting darker and it is becoming more of a challenge to live holy. Even those who are saved can find themselves bombarded with all kinds of ungodly, perverse sights and sounds from television, movies, magazines, the Internet, you name it. If adults are being challenged with negative input and temptation, just think what kind of environment today’s children are growing up in. If they don’t have strong parental direction and training, the enemy is sure to have free reign in their lives. Taking your place as a godly parent has never been more important.
The enemy wants to control the lives of as many people as he can. He does this by tricking them into going his way. He is peddling murder, hate and every kind of ungodly, immoral thing you can think of. If he can get those kinds of things before a person’s eyes and ears, he will have a place in their life.
Unfortunately, even some Christians are opening the door to the enemy by taking part in unclean entertainment and activities. They may think it won't hurt them, but people can’t feed on the world’s trash and not be affected.
If we don’t fight the good fight of faith (1 Timothy 6:12), the devil will come in and take over our homes and children. And remember, when he comes in he brings evil with him. We must fight to keep our homes devil free.
Be ye separate: Do you realize that consistently living a holy lifestyle has everything to do with how your children turn out? If you go to church, talk right and look good in front of people, but then you live differently at home, you are making it very hard for your children to take God seriously. As they are growing up, children learn more by watching what you do than by listening to what you say. And they never forget what they observe at home.
Holiness is letting God separate you out of the darkness of the world into a life that is worth living-a life lived in Him. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? . . . or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them . . . Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing . . .” (2 Corinthians 6:14-17).
The word separate means “to set apart, to disunite, to divide, to part company, go in a different direction, to cease to be associated with, to become distinct or disengaged, as cream separates from milk.”
So to get a picture of how we’re to live, think about how cream rises to the top and is separated from the plain, old milk.
That’s exactly what we have to do in regard to the sin the world is endeavoring to sell us on every hand. We must rise above it by doing what Romans 12:2 says: “Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind . . .”
When we are born again and filled with the Spirit, God pulls us out of darkness. But our lives won’t change much until the Word of God begins to wash our minds (Ephesians 5:26) and we come to understand that sin does not belong in us anymore. Then we can begin to resist those things.
However, if we decide to stay in the darkness and live against the Word, then we are living in sin. That is very dangerous because it shows a lack of reverence, or fear for God. And without the fear of God dwelling within us we will never experience the protection we could have, and neither will our families.
We’re not just choosing for our own lives when we make choices. Deuteronomy 30:19 says, “I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.”
The decisions we make not only affect us, they also affect our children.
You’re not what you used to be: If you are a Christian, the wicked ways of the world should be a thing of the past. 1 Peter 4:3 (The Amplified Bible) pretty well sums it up: “For the time that is past already suffices for doing what the Gentiles like to do-living [as you have done] in shameless, insolent wantonness, in lustful desires, drunkenness, reveling, drinking bouts and abominable, lawless idolatries.”
Many people have become arrogant about sin. They think, “I’ll just do this for a while. God will forgive me.” If you are truly repentant, yes, God will forgive you, but what kind of confusion will you create in the meantime for yourself and your family? Another thing to remember is that by continually yielding to sin, you can become so entangled in it that you no longer have the will to repent. Consider Hebrews 6:4-9: “For it is impossible [to restore and bring again to repentance] those who have been once for all enlightened, who have consciously tasted the heavenly gift and have become sharers of the Holy Spirit. And have felt how good the Word of God is and the mighty powers of the age and world to come, If they then deviate from the faith and turn away from their allegiance-[it is impossible] to bring them back to repentance, for (because, while, as long as) they nail upon the cross the Son of God afresh [as far as they are concerned] and are holding [Him] up to contempt and shame and public disgrace. For the soil which has drunk the rain that repeatedly falls upon it and produces vegetation useful to those for whose benefit it is cultivated partakes of a blessing from God. But if [that same soil] persistently bears thorns and thistles, it is considered worthless and near to being cursed, whose end is to be burned. [Gen. 3:17, 18.] Even though we speak this way, yet in your case, beloved, we are now firmly convinced of better things that are near to salvation and accompany it” (The Amplified Bible).
Think soberly about what you are doing. If you are entertaining sin, please think about the consequences of your actions and what it will do to your children. This Scripture didn’t say God wouldn't forgive those who had been enlightened and were now entangled but those who would not repent. Hopefully you will realize, “there’s no way I’m going to tear up my family by committing adultery or any other rebellion against God.” Titus 2:11-12 says, “For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world.”
Here is the bottom line: “But as the One Who called you is holy, you yourselves also be holy in all your conduct and manner of living” (1 Peter 1:15, The Amplified Bible). Verses 18-19 go on to make these powerful statements: “You must know (recognize) that you were redeemed (ransomed) from the useless (fruitless) way of living inherited by tradition from [your] forefathers, not with corruptible things [such as] silver and gold, But [you were purchased] with the precious blood of Christ (the Messiah), like that of a [sacrificial] lamb without blemish or spot.”
You may have inherited a fruitless way of living, but you can be the one to stop that cycle in your family. You are no longer your own. You were purchased with the precious blood of Jesus. It separates you and makes you righteous and holy-teach that to your children. Let that be the legacy you pass on to them.
Teach your children what God says: If God wants you to be separated, how much more important is it for your children to be separated from the vile things of the world? Little children are being taught from elementary school on up that homosexuality is OK – it’s an alternative lifestyle. They are being taught that they can choose to do whatever makes them happy. Generations of children are growing up without God in their lives, without boundaries. They have no Ten Commandments to live by, no basis for morality.
But it doesn’t have to be that way in your family-and it shouldn’t be. Over and over the Bible commands parents to teach their children the Word of God (Deuteronomy 6:6-7, 11:18-21). That will make all the difference in what kind of people they grow up to be.
If you fail to teach your children what God’s Word says is moral and immoral, you can be sure the world will teach them what they believe. Your children may come home with a book that talks about “Heather has two mommies,” and they should already know what the Bible says about this issue and why it is wrong. If you haven’t already discussed homosexuality with them, then take time to do so. If your children attend public school, you may have to deal with it earlier than you would choose. Watch carefully what others are depositing in your children. Talk to their teachers. Ask them what materials they use. Talk to your children and monitor what they are hearing and seeing.
In Leviticus 18, God deals with homosexuality and other sexual sins. He also makes it plain that His people are not to mingle among such and learn their ways. 1 Corinthians 15:33 adds, “Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companion-ships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character” (The Amplified Bible). And James 4:4 goes on to say, “Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.”
These are important lessons to teach your children, considering the kind of peer pressure they are sure to experience in today's world.
It’s also important to train your children to walk with God on a daily basis by reading the Word and praying, and spending time with Him. Teach them to desire spiritual things and help them learn to “walk in the Spirit, and [they] shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16). Certainly we haven’t covered everything in the Word that you should teach your children. There’s so much more. But remember this: Your eternal success and that of your children is tied up in your obedience. Obeying God’s Word and teaching your children to do the same will ensure the future of your family – both on this earth and in the world to come.
Most of all be mindful that living a godly life before your children is the best teacher. So, provide a solid home with love and support, and show them by example how to live separated unto God. Let them see how you respond when bad news or trouble comes. Let them see your faith in action. Let them see how you handle all kinds of circumstances – they will never get away from that.
They might forget your words, but they won't forget your ways.
“Mother,” by Temple Briley, will hopefully be encouraging: “The young mother set her foot on the path of life. ‘Is the way long?’ she asked. And her guide said: ‘Yes. And the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning.’ But the young Mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children and gathered flowers for them along the way and bathed with them in the clear streams; and the fun shone on them, and life was good, and the young Mother cried, ‘Nothing will ever be lovelier than this!’ Then night came, and storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the Mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, ‘Oh, Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and we know no harm can come,’ and the Mother said, ‘This is better than the brightness of the day, for I have taught my children courage.’ And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the Mother was weary, but at all times she said to the children, ‘A little patience, and we are there.’ So the children climbed, and when they reached the top, they said, ‘We could not have done it without you, Mother.’ And the Mother, when she lay down that night, looked up at the stars and said, ‘This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of harness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today I have given them strength.’ And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the whole earth-clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the Mother said: ‘Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.’ And the children looked and saw above the clouds an Everlasting Glory, and it guided them and brought them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, ‘This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God.’ . . . And the days went on, and the weeks went on, and the years went on, and the Mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was hard, they helped their Mother; and when the way was rough, they lifted her for she was light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill; and beyond the hill they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And the Mother said: ‘I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know that the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone and their children after them.’ And the children said: ‘You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the Gates.’ And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: ‘We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a Living Presence.’”
It isn’t easy to bring up a child in perverse times, but it’s important that we not lose our way in the struggle. In chapter 12 of his book, Power To Become, S.C. Boyce added this poem titled “Never Give Up”:
One ship goes east, another west,
By the selfsame winds that blow.
‘Tis the set of the sail, and not the gale,
That determines the way they go.
Like the winds of the sea are the ways of fate
As we voyage along through life.
‘Tis the set of the soul that determines the goal,
And not the calm or the strife.
With all this in mind; to set a good example for children, and to honor our own parents and friends, we offer the last written words of Frances E. Tyner: “Do not keep the alabaster boxes of your love and tenderness sealed up until your friends are dead, but fill their lives with sweetness. Speak approving and cheering words while their ears can hear them, and while their hearts can be thrilled and made happier by them. The kind things you will say after they are gone, say before they go. The flowers you mean to send for their coffins, send now, and brighten and sweeten their homes before they leave them. If my friends have alabaster boxes laid away, full of fragrant perfumes of sympathy and affection, which they intend to break over my dead body, I would rather they would bring them now in my weary and troubled hours, and open them, that I may be refreshed and cheered, while I need them and can enjoy them. I would rather have a plain coffin without a flower, and a funeral without an eulogy, than a life without the sweetness of love and sympathy. My son, learn to anoint your friends before their burial. Post-mortem kindness cannot cheer the burdened spirit. Flowers on a coffin shed no fragrance backward over the weary way loved ones have traveled.”
She ended the above letter to her son with a poem that seems appropriate now:
“What use for the rope, if it be not flung
Till the swimmer’s grasp to the rock has clung?
What worth is Eulogy’s blandest breath
When whispered in ears that are hushed in death?
No! no! if you have but a word of cheer,
Speak it while I am alive to hear.”
